Today my boyfriend left me.
I'd been seeing him on and off now for over a year and he was my first (you know the kind of first I mean. It was a total surprise I thought this time it was really working, I'd been feeling really low and he'd been there for me and I'd been there for him when he was feeling down.
I was getting paranoid about these two girls he'd been talking to and as far as I know they are not the reason why it ended, he was aware I was feeling insicure about them and hopefully he knows why that was.
Like most relationships we'd had a bump in the road, I think the main one this time was because he read something he didn't like in my diary and it snowballed, I thought he was over it and we carried on like normal.

He told me that we didn't work on a fundamental level he said we didn't like the same things we didn't do the same things and he felt that I didn't like going out to restaronts with him, which was a lie I wished we'd gone out more what i felt bad about was not being able to contribute more to the check due to my crappy finaces. I asked him was it on a physical level that he didn't want to carry on and he said yes he said yes to most if not all the things I asked him about why we didn't work.

At least now I know what not to do if I get into another relationship. The sadest thing is I really truely wanted it to work, he felt like something right in my life and I could honestly see myself living with him and having a family but he didn't see it like that and now I'm single again, single and sad.

He paid me for the gifts I'd gotten him which on one level is insulting but on another level I'm glad he did because at least now when I see him in the hoodie and top I brought him I can pretend like I was the middle man and just got them on buisness not out of kindness.

A very personal entry for DA from a very sad and broken RawSushi...